Recipe Fails of 2015
Okay friends, this is where I pull back the curtain and let you see what didn’t make the cut this year. Because it’s just as important to look back at where you went wrong as it is to look back to where you had success, right?
Or, if nothing else, at least it’s somewhat amusing for you to see. There were A LOT of failures that I was too busy crying over to take pictures of but I tried my best to remember and save those that I didn’t think were worthy of posting. There a few REALLY bad fails and the rest are ones that I thought I could improve after shooting. Yeah, that obviously didn’t happen…
Starting off with a baby fail, I thought this spring vegetable quinoa stir-fry tasted good at first but after I sat down to eat a few bites, I realized it was kind of gross. The texture was mushy and the flavor was just meh. Not worth remaking or posting.
I’m annoyed by how good this one looks. I tried SO hard to make a slow cooker lentil curry earlier in the year but it just wasn’t happening. I mean, it always came out edible but it wasn’t anything to write home about.
What I learned from the um, I don’t know, FIVE failed batches was that I need to find a more flavorful curry powder or just forget about making it in the slow cooker.
Let’s talk about one recipe that I’m NEVER going to try to make again: Vegan Quinoa Cupcakes. I can’t even tell you how many failed batches of these I had to shove down my throat this year.
The funny thing is, I had a few readers tell me that they were able to make this quinoa cake without the eggs but for whatever reason it did not work for me. It doesn’t matter how long I kept them in the oven, they were still wet and basically raw inside. It’s been months and I’m still gagging.
And I tried again to make them with beets for Valentine’s Day. They might look better on the outside but the inside was still….EW.
Moving on to a more attractive muffin, these were supposed to be gluten-free lemon blueberry flavored that were made with quinoa flour and coconut flour. The texture was disgusting and I’ve decided that coconut flour and I can no longer be friends. Just kidding. Kind of. ;)
You know what vegetable tastes awful in a smoothie? BEETS. Which is strange because I love beets. Beet juice, beet hummus, roasted beets as a side with dinner. But I don’t know, I just couldn’t get down with them in a smoothie. ‘Twas GROSS.
This ugly piece of bread was supposed to be a vegan chia french toast. As you can see, the outside stuck to the pan while the inside remained soggy. Le sigh.
I thought we could use a pretty one after that horror scene. I was really close to posting these creamy cherry limemades. They were made with coconut milk and they were delicious but the acids in the lime juice caused it to separate within three seconds of pouring it.
I had to keep stirring it with a straw as I took the pictures and it felt wrong to share something that would look completely different when someone made it at home.
On the bright side, I found a cherry that looked like a butt! ;)
This was a sundried tomato and broccoli pesto. Flavor= thumbs up. Texture= BIG thumbs down. I think I steamed the broccoli which made it too watery and gave the pesto a mushy texture. It might be worth trying again with roasted broccoli but I have to wait long enough for my brain to purge the MUSH from my memory.
Do you guys remember me mentioning how I made a green bean casserole with the vegan cream of mushroom soup? Here she is, in all of her burnt shallot topping glory. Somehow I didn’t see that one going over so well.
Last but not least, my most recent fail was this Vegan Slow Cooker Broccoli ‘Cheese’ Casserole. I don’t know what I was thinking with this. That my slow cooker was a magician?
The broccoli was so overcooked and the whole thing looked like a big pot of slop. Thankfully it didn’t taste horrible so we were able to eat most of it. Neither of us enjoyed it. Major DUD.
Well, that’s all I have evidence of but I can tell you there were many more that I have no problem forgetting. Be sure to check back soon for the recipe successes of this year + a giveaway! :)
I love posts like these! I’m with you on beets in smoothies… icky! Also, that curry looks SO good. It is a shame it didn’t turn out!
I don’t wish anyone a kitchen fail, but sometimes it is nice to know that I am not alone in my kitchen flops. :) Can’t wait to see your loooong list of successes though!! My family and I have been enjoying them all year :) Hope you had a fabulous holiday!!
Aw, thanks Melissa! :)
We did have a nice holiday! I had to work for part of it but we cooked a delicious dinner, video chatted with family and watched a few Christmas movies so I can’t complain. I hope yours was wonderful too! :)
I think it’s fun to see others kitchen snafus. Too often everything looks too perfect in the blog world and that is not reality. On the bright side, all your pictures look amazing!
I agree, everything always looks so perfect but that’s not reality. We all have a few ugly recipes here and there! :)
You have some of the prettiest kitchen fails I’ve seen! Always nice to see that I’m not the only one who has quite a few flops in the kitchen :)
These are my favvvvvorite posts to read and I NEED to remember to document my 2016 fails. It’s one thing to taste a recipe right after it’s done cooking and realize it’s bad, but my least favorite is when you think something is good so you spend time taking pretty photos only to realize that it’s actually terrible. Thanks for keeping it real lady!
I know, it’s such a waste of time! I need to figure out how to avoid that moving forward because it KILLS me.
I would have -never- guessed these were fails by how pretty they look! I would have loved to document my fails (God knows there’ve been plenty), but I didn’t think to take any pictures of them. Maybe something to keep in mind for 2016.
I have a feeling your fails would be way prettier than mine! I don’t think you’re capable of making ugly food. ;)
I should start taking pictures of my failures. Oh they are so depressing I usually just throw it away without even bothering to take pictures. This kind of made my day!
You should! At least you would get a post out of it. :)
This is like the best post EVER. This makes me feel much better about the dozens of fails I had this year, too!! And it definitely made me laugh out loud looking at that broccoli stuff ;)
It was SO ugly, haha! :)
Love these! I’ll make a mental note to never put beets in smoothies. I just discovered (as in, yesterday) the greatness of beet juice, but I’ll just stick with that now!
You never know, you might like it. It just wan’t for me. :/
I always enjoy these posts! Makes me feel much better about some of the horrors that came out of my kitchen this year! haha
Hope you had an awesome Christmas Sarah!! PS – have you tried frozen sliced beets in smoothies? Like the kind you can buy. I add just a few slices (i.e. not a lot) to my normal smoothie and you can’t taste it! I love beets too but I can’t handle when the taste is prominent in my smoothies for some reason…
I haven’t tried it with frozen beets! Maybe that would change my mind. Thanks for the tip, Ashley!
Thank you for your great post, so honest and so funny. I am just a home cook and baker, having had a brief stint as a pastry chef many moons ago. It is good when we can laugh at our failures and rejoice at our kitchen successes. When I have a kitchen fail, I get back on the horse by making a tried and true recipe and then I attempt a new recipe. We will never know we have a winner on our hands unless we try something new.
It sounds like I need you to come help me, Jerilyn! I had no idea you were a pastry chef. :)
I think that’s a great tip to return to a trust-worthy recipe after a fail. I’ll keep that in mind for the many future fails that I’m sure I’ll have! ;)
I LOVE THIS! It seems that every other recipe of mine is a fail, but that just makes the successes even better, right? ;)
That’s right, Maddie! ;)
This just made me laugh out loud! We are about to eat dinner and it’s a failed blog post :) Looks meh! Tastes delicious. Hohum…….I’m glad I’m in good company.
I’m so happy I gave you a good laugh, Nancy! Thanks for stopping by! :)
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I always love reading these posts at the end of the year – they’re so funny! (Even though I know there were many tears in the making haha) No one’s perfect and I think these types of posts show that!
Great post! It’s humbling to look back at my kitchen fails, for sure. I have to admit, I like beet strawberry smoothies. I’d never post the recipe, though, because I know I’m in the vast minority.
Thanks Maryea! I would be open to trying a beet smoothie with strawberries! Maybe it would change my mind. :)
Oh MAN it’s so tough when something you’ve worked hard on just can’t be shared on the blog! I’m in stitches over this post…like I’m laugh-crying for you. It’s making remember my fails over the last year…it’s so not funny but funny at the same time when you put so much effort into something you’re sure will be the next big thing and it succeeds by no stretch of the imagination. For what it’s worth, your photos are all so gorgeous, and most of the recipe/ideas above had me drooling, haha! Even your fails look marvelous. Cheers to 2016 and all the wins and fails to come!!
I am cracking up. There are so many 2015 success stories (as most of your recipes are), but it’s so funny to look at the mishaps. “I don’t know what I was thinking with this. That my slow cooker was a magician?”
I’m glad I could give you a little chuckle, Jill! Happy New Year, lady! :)
I love beets in smoothies! Call me crazy! Have you tried cooked beets? Maybe raw beets are too earthy? Costco sells these packaged organic cooked beets that are really delicious. I love throwing them into a smoothie. Anyway…maybe I can’t convert you! ;) As for the curry powder, I have found that using curry paste sometimes gives a more flavorful/rich curry flavor. Maybe you should try a paste.
I think the ones that I used were cooked…it’s definitely an acquired taste! :)
Thanks for the tip on curry paste! I looked for some before but I couldn’t find any that didn’t have strange ingredients (like MSG) in them. Maybe I was just looking the wrong place!
What about instead of using a curry powder, using your own ratio of your favorite spices usually found in curry powder? My husband is Indian, so we make curry a lot. My favorite spice is cumin, so I go heavy on cumin powder. We often use cumin powder, corriander powder, red chili powder, and just a pinch of turmeric. Most curry powders are heavy on turmeric, which makes them healthy but mustardy! If you like a sweeter curry, you could substitute a bit of cinnamon for the red chili powder. (I am referring to powdered dry red chili peppers, not the mix used for making chili! Although “chili powder” mix might make a great curry powder, with a bit of turmeric thrown in!). To maximize the flavor impact, you could add a bit more in the last few minutes of cooking. Or you could do what Indians do and temper some oil with a few flavorful ingredients (mustard seeds, cumin seeds, dried red chilis, a bit of crushed garlic, maybe even a few dry lentils) after the curry is done, and pour it over the top!
That’s a great idea! Thanks for the suggestion, Ann!
I think my main issue was the slow cooker. I try to make my recipes as easy as possible but some dishes require the extra time/step in order to taste good. Plus, it’s hard for the spices to meld with the vegetables and the oil in the slow cooker as they do when you saute them on the stove. But I love the tip to saute the spices at the end and then pour it on top. That would be a great way to add flavor! :)
Haha it’s so funny to read about other bloggers’ recipe fails. I certainly had my fair share of them this year too! Also, I totally agree about coconut flour. I’m pretty sure nothing I’ve ever made with it has turned out successfully!
Coconut flour is so tricky! I think it’s because you need a bajillion eggs and I just can’t bring myself to cook with that many at once, lol!
Haha, I kind of love these annual recipe fail posts… They’re just interesting and funny and make me remember that I’m not the only one that has terrible recipe fails! That creamy cherry limeade does sound yummy though.
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